Over the years (and especially during the past 5 or 6 years whilst I’ve been reclaiming my HAT’ness)…  I have amassed a mountain of creative content. 

There’s art, illustrations, rants, ponderings, ideas, songs, poetry, stories, scribbles, philosophical ponderings, lists, how-to’s… it’s years of experiences… lessons-learned… opinions, ideas and stories…  loads of creative-makings.

And… I’ve never quite known what to do with it all.

I would ask myself:  “Why would other people want to browse through all of this creative random’ness?”.

And then one day, a friend was browsing through one of my (many) art journals… and he said:  “I love this!  You should really make a book out of this stuff!”

And I said:  “Really?  You think people would enjoy something like this?”

And he said:  “Absolutely!  I love paging through your strange stuff.  It inspires me.  It makes me think about ideas and questions that I might not have thought about.  And… y’know… it’s just kinda weird, crazy shit.  It’s interesting and it’s fun”.

So… I thought long and hard about it.

And the critical part of my brain kept saying:  “Ridiculous!  Nobody gives a shit about the noise in your head!  Why would anyone want a book filled with nonsense!?  Why would they PAY for such a thing?”

And I thought about it a lot more.  And I ruminated obsessively.  Overthinking incessantly… asking myself again and again and again:

“But will anyone like it?  Will anyone want it?  Will anyone buy it?  Shouldn’t I be making something that people will actually want?  Shouldn’t I be making something that’s a lot more cohesive and understandable?  What do folk want from me?  What should I create for them?  What can I create for them that they’ll like… that they’ll want to buy?”

And one day (and it took me a LONG time to get to this point, trust me)… I asked a different kind of question.

The question wasn’t about:  “What do OTHER people want me to do??”

The question was:  “What do YOU want to do, Heather?  What do you LOVE doing?  What makes you come alive?  What just flows naturally from inside of you… un-forced… unrehearsed… un-coerced?  What’s the REAL, RAW essence of creative expression that just pours out from your hands and your mouth?  If you had to just be…. YOU…. what would that look like?”

And, the answer was:  FODDER.

So that’s what I did.  I created the first issue of FODDER.  214 full-colour pages of real-raw-undiluted HAT’ness.

There’s a page-through-preview below.  Make of it what you will.  X