I have been so reluctant to write a post that even remotely smacks of Answer-Giving and 3-Step-Plan sharing.
As most of you guys know – there has been some massive change that has taken place in my life over the past 6 or 7 years.
Physically I have changed… mentally, emotionally, spiritually – there have been enormous shifts in my mindset and ways of thinking. And – of course – our lives (and lifestyle) has completely changed too.
And all of the change has been for the better.
I am so much happier now. So much more fulfilled. So is Nick. So are my kids.
Of course (and you’ll have to bare with me repeating this incessantly) – we have not “arrived”. Life is not “perfect”. I still have my issues and challenges… still have my kryptonite… still have my miserable stay-in-my-pyjamas-and-binge-on-chocolate days.
But, whereas before (when low self-esteem and general feelings of misery and frustration dominated my life)… these days – my all-fall-down’s happen very rarely. And – for the most part – I wake up with a smile on my face, a spring in my step – looking forward to what the new day will bring.
Life is GOOD. I am filled with gratitude. And I am SO glad we made the shifts and the changes that we made.
Thing is, this…
A lot of folk I’ve met (whether in person or online) would like some advice. They ask me things like this:
How did the change happen? (long story) Where did you start? (long story) Was there a specific process that you went through? (yes). Were there practical steps that you took? (yes). What were those practical steps? (long story)
I get the questions… I do.
I also want advice, inspiration and wisdom from people who have walked a path that I’m yet to walk… or who have managed to overcome an obstacle that I’m still struggling with. I also like learning from others.
But – simultaneously – I am hyper-suspicious of any “One” Right-Way… or “right” answer… or any 3-step-plan which claims to mainline truth.
For this simple reason: we are all different!
- What works for me – may not work for you.
- My dreams are probably not your dreams.
- What works for my family – might not work for your family.
- My strengths probably differ from your strengths…
And so on, and so on…
So… with the understanding that we’re all such uniquely diverse peeps (which I love, by the way)… how do I attempt to give “answers” when people ask me for a How-To…?
I have been pondering on this long and hard…
- How do I offer help – without sounding all Dr Phil’ish??
- How do I share the processes that helped me – without promoting those processes as the “only” way – or “solution” to change?
- How do I offer advice and ideas – without sounding like one of those Self-Help Gurus who market themselves as having all the answers??
- How do I offer ideas – rather than “steps”?
- How do I share my thoughts without being preachy?
How can “Hat” be helpful… while still remaining Hatty?
So… I am going to attempt to navigate through these muddy waters – and figure it out along the way – and I hope you guys can be patient with me.
If I start sounding preachy and all-knowing… feel free to remind me.
In the next couple posts – I’m going to talk about the main stages or processes that I journeyed through whilst completely deconstructing – and then re-imagining – and then rebuilding – all areas of my life.
But first, I want to talk about one of my most important (if not the most important tool that I used to find my way back to “HAT”).
Oh hang on, this post is – as always – too long. I’ll chat about the tools in the next post – and then the process of Questioning in the post after that (if I don’t get too distracted).
As always, thanks for reading & connecting! X