So now you know.  I’m a perfectionist.  There, I said it!

Heather Costaras, aka: Hat is a frothing-at-the-mouth, struggle-to-relinquish-control, all-or-nothing perfectionist.

For those of you familiar with the path-of-perfectionism – you’ll understand that perfectionism doesn’t necessarily mean “neat”, “together” or “organised”.  It simply means that we perfectionists have these… areas… of our life which are like… no-go-zones for anyone else.  Areas where we are super-controlling to the point of being obsessive.  Areas where we believe that we (and only WE) are able to do things the “right” way.

For me, that area is:  My Art (encompassing everything from my blogs, illustrations, Hat book, Hat Creative Workshops, scriptwriting and all number of various creative endeavours).  When it comes to all of that stuff, it’s like I’ve built a mile-high wall around myself.  I want things done “right” (or not at all).  I want the script to be “perfect” (or they mustn’t put my name on it).  I want my book launch to be ridiculously-awesome’ness-wonderful-experience-like-no-other-where-everyone-who-attends-will-marvel (or no launch at all).  I want to be ready to offer the most wonderful creative workshops (or none at all).  I want to put together THE most exciting Secret Boxes (or none at all).  If I’m going to put a video on my website – it needs to be utterly amazing… (or there will be no video at all!)…  and on and on it goes… a never-ending cycle of:

…shooting myself squarely in the foot.

Because guess what all this all-or-nothing perfectionism is accomplishing?

It’s causing me to get a whole lot of NOTHING done… because everything is either;

  • not ready yet
  • not finished yet
  • not perfect enough
  • not good enough
  • not right enough

Here’s how this all plays out (using my official Book Launch as an example):

  • I want to host the launch at the Hat Hub (our home & studio) – but it’s not finished yet… we still need to do painting, dry-walling and all kinds of stuff for the Hub to be “right” enough and “ready” enough for the launch…
  • I want my launch attendees to feast on all kinds of perfect yummy wonderfulness… but – I don’t have enough money to afford that degree of catering – so – then NO launch at all.
  • I want the launch to be an experience (not just dull speeches with stale sarmies on the side)… but the experience I have cooked up in my head requires 1) money… 2) people… 3) extra musicians… and – since I’m currently not in the position to afford all this wonderfulness?  No launch – at all!
  • I want the best, most unique invitations… or no launch.
  • I want the entire Hub to be decorated amazingly… or no launch.
  • I want a fantastic photographer… or no launch.
  • I want everyone to take home the best-most-amazing goodie bags… or no launch.

See what I’m saying?

See how this all-or-nothing perfectionism-thing is sooooo damaging and UN-helpful?

It’s like somebody refusing to run a race – unless they’re certain that they’ll win and receive first-prize.  Surely – the value is in the journey and the doing… more than the “winning”?

SO – this blog post – suffice to say – is my first baby step in the right direction.  (As a side note, you guys would be amazed at how many endless unfinished blog posts there are in my “drafts” folder – because none of them were “good enough”.  And also – how much late-night ruminating occurs when I publish posts that haven’t measured up to my stupidly unattainable all-or-nothing standards).

So – in the interests of baby steps – in the RIGHT direction:

I am not going to fuss and faff about this post.

I’m just going to hit “publish”.  And then I’m going to prepare a late-March Book Launch at my half-finished Hat Hub – using what I can… the resources I already have at my disposal.  And I will make it the best possible experience for those who attend.

It might not be “perfect”… but it will be perfectly fine, fun and fabulous.  And doing SOMETHING is always better than doing NOTHING.

PS:  Will keep you guys updated on Instagram, Facebook and my newsletter thingy.

Loads of love to you all!

Hx