Here are the things I suck at:
- Maths, accountancy, budgeting (or working with numbers or money in any shape or form).
- Cooking (yawn…)
- Any kind of administration (filing… taxes… paying bills… renewing driver’s license… renewing passport… going-to-the-dentist… calling-the-plumber…) – you get the picture. In fact – I loathe admin so deeply that I procrastinate most of it away – and just pretend that it’s not there (hence decades-long-un-renewed-license and the resultant fines).
- I suck at limiting the amount of food that gets placed in my mouth. Specifically anything smacking remotely of Nutella.
- Exercising regularly (treble-yawn…) and any kind of sport (quadruple yawn)…
- Remembering birthdays. Remembering people’s names.
- Managing people. Managing conflict.
- Keeping my home (and my head) neat, tidy & organised.
There’s loads more stuff, I’m sure.
But the point is… there’s stuff in my life that I’m just not good at!
Either I don’t have a natural ability to grasp those things (maths being a case in point)… or – I just don’t bloody-well LIKE the task at hand and find it excruciatingly dull and hateful. Or – (in the case of lying)… I’m just a terrible actress. I go red if I lie. The guilt is painted all over my face.
But – you know what?
I have made peace with my weaknesses. All of them.
No longer will I waste my life… time… money… energy… attempting to FIX my perceived weaknesses. I refuse to beat myself up, shame myself, tell myself off… because – in spite of all the trying… trying… trying... and striving… striving… striving… I STILL (at the age of 42)… suck at exactly the same things I sucked at when I was 12.
I mean – how many years does it take for one to grasp this basic lesson?
30 years of shaming and self-flaggeration? 30 years of never-measuring-up? 30 years of feeling as though I was a pathetic failure… and “so weak”… because I didn’t seem have “enough willpower”… to FIX myself for once and for all???
No more of that ridiculousness.
That ship has sailed… and disappeared over the distant horizon. Never to return.
These days – I focus on my strengths. I invest in my strengths. I invest my time, energy and money into developing and building upon my strengths.
And I have many strengths (as do you!!)
I’ve made peace with my weaknesses. And it’s been one of the best love-gifts I’ve given myself. I’ve found ways to work around the stuff I suck at and I’ve figured out ways to embrace all of who I am…
Instead of waiting... and waiting… for the Magical Day to arrive… when I was finally perfect enough… and fixed enough… and got-all-my-shit-together enough… and ENOUGH-enough… to finally… be deserving of acceptance and love.
It doesn’t work that way.
It never works that way. We absolutely have to stop shaming ourselves – and stop waiting for perfection and enough-ness… if we want to get on with the job of actually LIVING.
And so my message to you today?
Make peace with your weaknesses. It’s OKAY to suck at stuff. NOBODY is perfect. NOBODY is good at everything. That’s why diversity is such a wonderful thing! Because for every little thing that you suck at… it’s okay – because somebody else is good at that thing! Somebody else loves that thing!
There is room for us all… room for our weakness… and room for our beautiful strengths. When we’re honest about our weaknesses and strengths – we’re able to support one another… and hold each-other up. And that’s the beauty of it.
Invest in your strengths! Focus on THEM… and stop shaming yourself for your perceived failures (it’s a pointless waste of time and life – trust me!)