So – today, since I’m feeling all chipper and cheesecake’y… I thought I’d share some of my embarrassing moments.
People who read my blog for the first time, may be under the (mistaken) impression that I’m a very serious, intense person.
And I’m not very refined either.
We have a big red-carpet-hoo-ha coming up next week. It’s called the South African Film & Television Awards (aka: The SAFTAS)… and we’re going because Nick has been nominated for some “Best Editor” awards. Anyway – so the SAFTAS are like the South African version of the Oscars: lots of shiny, beautiful people… lots of peacocking… lots of bling… lots of press and camera-posing.
It’s fun though. We get to sit at big round tables with work colleagues and friends… and be served pretty food-morsels whilst watching very impressive dancers and singers and what-not. Last time we went, they rained gold glitter down from the stage and blew off fireworks and had Samuel L Jackson handing out the trophies.
The point is… at these kind of red-carpet events, I inevitably end up embarrassing myself in some way.
There was the time I accidentally dropped a cocktail meatball down my cleavage whilst attempting to mingle (I don’t know what was worse: losing the meatball – or the awkward process of trying to fish it out).
At that same event, I had decided it might be a good idea to wear heels… (I never wear heels. I wear slip-slops. I even wore slip-slops on my wedding day). But, for some daft reason, I decided that one ought to wear “proper shoes” at a red-carpet event. So… I wore brand new strappy heels. And I got from the parking lot – to the beginning of the red carpet… and I just couldn’t any more. So, I took them off… and went barefoot instead.
Also – at that event – I sweated… profusely… I think it was a combination of the chilli dip, the hot lights and the long-sleeved dress…. and I sweated my make-up off (think black, dripping eyeliner)… and sweated my neatly coiffed hairdo into a damp, limp birds nest… and to top it all off, tripped down the stairs whilst leaving the venue.
This – by the way – is the tip of the iceberg.
I could tell you stories… many, many stories of many, many undignified embarrassing moments – often involving one or more of the following:
- embarrassing myself in public
- some kind of unintentional nakedness
- laughing so much that I wee in my pants… (in a public place)
- uncontrollable giggling at inappropriate moments (ie: funerals! sad plays! stern sermons!)
- loud, unintentional farts (in public spaces) – (this has happened on 3 occasions… the worst of which earned me the nickname “Baked Beans” for many months following)
- awkward-moments-whilst-performing-on-stage (ie: I once accidentally hocked up a giant loogie in the middle of my solo…) – (it didn’t end well…)
- and… well… you get the picture.
So – now that I’ve shared (a teeny taster) of my awkward and embarrassing moments… if you feel thus-inclined, I’d love to hear YOURS!
Have a lovely Friday! 🙂