I have this… issue.
I’m a pretty chilled, easy-going person… and it really takes a lot to raise my blood pressure. I’m not highly-strung… I don’t like arguing with people… and I’m usually okay just to love and let live.
But one thing I really… really… struggle with (to the degree that it keeps me awake at night because I can’t stop obsessing about it)… is when I’m not got.
Am I the only person who needs so desperately to be “got”… to be “understood”… to be “heard”….? (??)
A good friend of mine recently posted a Seth Godin quote on his Facebook wall which said:
“It doesn’t matter if you’re right, it matters if you’re understood”.
Now – I don’t know what context that comment comes out of… but boy, do those words resonate with me!!
Because honestly… (and I mean this from the bottom of my heart)… I really don’t care much about being “Right”.
I’m a questioner. I question everything… all the time. I ponder things. I chew on things. And yes – with questioning comes a lot of movement and flow (when it comes to my opinions). For me… learning and growth and understanding are a journey… a process… they’re not some stagnant zone of “Rightness” or “Wrongness”. I just don’t see life that way.
I don’t care about being right… AND… I also don’t mind if people disagree with me (and again – I say this from the bottom of my heart).
It is not important that you AGREE with me… it is important that you HEAR me – that you GET what I’m trying to say.
The one thing that drives me completely bonkers… is when somebody leaps to an incorrect conclusion about who I am – or about what I’m trying to say.
- And they’ll say: “So… what you’re actually saying is this…”
- And I’ll say: “No! That’s not what I’m saying at all!!!”
- And they’ll say: “It absolutely IS what you’re saying!”
- And I’ll say: “No! You’ve completely misread me! You’ve completely misunderstood me! That’s not at all what I’m trying to say!”
- And they’ll say: “Don’t try and back track now. Just admit it! I KNOW what you’re trying to say! You’re saying this….”
Those kinds of conversations (whether face to face… or through typed words flying across the internet) drive. me. absolutely.barking.mad… (!!!)
I want to tear my hair out… scream blue murder… roll myself in sackcloth and ashes… rip at my flesh… gnaw off my own digits… (well – you get the picture).
Is there anyone else out there that’s like me? Do you also long to… need to… be got… and when people DON’T get you – and they misunderstand you… and mis-quote you… and jump to (entirely incorrect) assumptions about what they THINK you’re trying to say… do you go as barkers as I do?
C’mon… whispers… you can tell me!