I’m finally beginning to learn a very important lesson: I don’t have to remain plugged in to negative and poisonous people, relatives, reading material or situations. I can choose the people I spend a lot of time with… and I can choose who to avoid. I can choose what to read and watch – and I can choose what not to read and watch.
Two days ago, I got caught up in a very ugly debate on a facebook thread. People were hurling insults at each other and there were nasty things that were said about a particular group of people that made me feel particularly shitty about myself (since I fall into that particular group).
And then it dawned on me: Why am I even reading this poison? I don’t have to subject myself to this crap!
So, I deleted the thread… shut off Facebook… made myself a nice cup of coffee… and put in some constructive and positive time on an artwork (see pic above).
It’s nice to take control of this kind of stuff.
Here’s what other poison I’ve either distanced myself from – or unplugged myself from completely:
- A group of critical relatives.
- “Friends” whom I feel very un-safe around.
- Glossy women’s magazines that make me feel shitty about my body.
- Manipulative TV advertisements (we turfed the TV).
- Nasty groups & pages on Facebook where there’s far more bitching, criticism and whingeing going on – than anything remotely positive or pro-active.
- Any kind of negative media that focuses on hype and misery in order to sell their products.
- Bad movies, awful soapies, Reality TV, gossip rags – or anything that feels as though it melts our brain into mush… (and wastes our time).
Instead… we choose to spend time with:
- Family who love us unconditionally (even though we may disagree on a few issues – the unconditional love and acceptance is always there).
- Dear, close friends (whom we can share our deep secrets and fears with – without any fear of judgement, condemnation or having our stories spread around the neighbourhood the very next day).
- New friends and acquaintances we’re still getting to know.
And we choose to watch or read…
Books, blogs, documentaries, movies, articles, etc… that educate and inform… or inspire us… or entertain us… or interest us… or make us laugh… or make us smile… or offer some kind of pro-active advice or solution to a particular problem. I choose to spend my time reading about – or learning from – people who are making some kind of positive difference in the world (instead of those who simply sit and whinge their lives away… whilst doing nothing!).
So, my challenge to you today: think of ways that you can un-plug from the poison! Anything or anyone that drains your joy… or makes you feel shitty about yourself (or life in general)… or leaves you with a sense of “ugh!” in the pit of your stomach. You don’t have to expose yourself to that stuff. You don’t have to read it… watch it… listen to it… or keep company with it!
Any thoughts on other ways to unplug from poisonous people or situations? I’d love to hear some comments… 🙂
PS: As a quick disclaimer: I’m not distancing myself from people who disagree with me. I welcome diversity and healthy debate (I attend two regular debate clubs and I often don’t see eye-to-eye with other participants). I welcome conversations with folk who may not resonate with the way we do things – or people who say: “I just don’t get it!”. Poison – however – is a completely different ballgame. Poisonous people aren’t those who don’t just disagree… they attack (viciously) with insults and ridicule. It’s those types of people I’d rather not be around.